Welcome Ladies and Gentlemen to the fight of John’s head versus John’s heart! It’s a battle in Seattle—winner take all! In this corner, weighing in at about 5 pounds, containing all of John’s capacity for logic and reason—responsible for his victories in college and in scholastic pursuit—the squishy but lean and mean fightin’ machine—John’s BRAIN!!!!! (cheers). In this corner, in the red white and blue trunks, responsible for John’s irrational feelings and impulsive nature—weighing in at 2 pounds or so of lean healthy muscle tissue— the reason for his near constant pursuit of girls and love of poetry—John’s HEART!!! (cheers)
Let’s get ready to ruuuummm--- Buuuullllll!!!! (bell)
Fictitious Imaginary Schedule (heart)
April 3rd—Arrive Seattle. Give a travel slideshow to an enthralled audience of family and friends (apologize to Mom for leaving Seattle so quickly after such a long absence).
April 4th—Go see your last remaining love interest in Seattle and tell her your true feelings before driving to Portland to beg Matt’s forgiveness before spending a week with his ex-girlfriend. Go to the funeral of one of your Dad’s friends. Weep in public.
April 5th—Caravan down to California with Michael and Brant and be sure to tell them that they’re you’re bestest best friends ever. Tell Brant you will soon be returning to Monterey for good. Enjoy the surf at Cannon Beach. Tell Nadia and Matt that you miss them and that someday you hope to return to the area.
April 10th—Call Todd and gloat about how you’re in Mendocino (his favorite place) and he’s still in Albuquerque. Tell him you’re thinking of him. You miss your old friends.
April 11th—Rendezvous with Holly Hatch. Console her about the rough year she has had and downplay the awesome year you have had. Tell her you’ve missed her.
April 15th—Enjoy brother bonding time in Vegas. Encourage him and tell him he’s awesome and share your regret at having enviously tortured him when you were younger.
April 22nd- - Fly to Seattle and spend quality time with beloved family.
April 25th—Fly to Kathmandu with that inspirational figure, Matt Fioretti. Confess how inspired you are by his triumph over aplastic anemia.
May 29th—return to Seattle in time for the wedding of one of your oldest friends (and possibly one of your best). Present her with the best wedding gift EVER which you will retrieve from Kathmandu.
June 1st—hop (hope) on the motorcycle with rock shoes and a computer and head to Jackson Hole to see Anna, do some climbing, and finish your novel in the style it deserves, in the same place where it began, for this “sense of an ending” as you are calling it.
Perceived Anticipated Actual Schedule (HEAD)—
April 3rd—arrive home and hang out with Mom and Bert and Jack and family.
April 4th—Attend funeral. Choke back tears.
April 5th—Begin road-trip to California. Read aloud from Dharma Bums, which you will get from the library in lieu of purchasing a copy. Be logical. Don’t apologize to Matt for going climbing with his ex-girlfriend. You have nothing to hide.
April 6th—Sit at the bar in Portland with Matt and Nadia and Brant and Michael. This will be easier than going to the beach because then you can continue down the coast from there. Plus the weather will probably suck. Make no such promises about living in either Portland or Monterey. Don’t be so maudlin, you incredible pussy.
April 10th—Hang out in Northern Cali. Don’t call Todd. He’ll want to talk. You’re with people, and plus it’s not your phone.
April 11th- go surfing, then rendezvous with Holly. When you meet her, be cool.
April 22nd—fly to Seattle.
April 25th—Fly to Nepal with Matt. Be friendly but depend on yourself, and yourself alone, on the mountain or elsewhere.
May 29th—fly to Seattle for Michelle’s wedding. Deliver wedding gift, but first allow her to pick from a selection of possible gifts, so that your present will be well-received.
May 30th—deliver modest but hand-picked wedding gift to Michelle at wedding. Don’t hit on any of her friends.
June 1st—with respect to the ending of the novel, take your mother’s advice—“just because it would make a good story doesn’t mean you should go do it”—and go nowhere near Jackson for any reason.
June 3rd—find work of some kind or starve.
Who will win? Cast your vote!
4 comments:
Always let your heart lead John! Just let your head rationalize your heart from time to time. ;) I have to tell you, I admire and am envious of all your adventures. Keep blogging!!
Buckwheat: Why the hell would you go to Jackson? Do you really think that's going to be nice? I'd go with my head on that one. The big head.
April 9th: Hang out in Santa Cruz with Corinne for a little bit. Tell her about your travels. She will tell you about her increasingly cool future.
Yeah, as for Jackson...as my weird sociology prof would say, "Don't go there!"
If you can manage to lead your heart instead of letting it lead you, you can get the best of both worlds. By leading your heart, you get to use your mind's common sense and your heart's passionate nature without any of the obvious downsides of both.
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