So I have done a lot of thinking about what I would name my climbing routes if I ever did a new line that required naming. My best idea so far came up when we saw a giant dark colored dike that ascended the east face of the middle Teton. We thought about it, and decided that we’d call it “who’s done the big black dyke?” but we didn’t have the balls to do the route.
Before I ever began climbing water ice near this particular obscure river gorge of the Thame valley, I thought about a name. I wanted to call my new route DEV-ICE after our faithful porter, whose name is Dev Kumar, or just “Dev.” After all, he hauled our gear up there.
The route was three pitches of pretty nondescript water ice (about WI4 in difficulty) and we were stoked to get to name a route upon reaching the top—but wait—what’s this? It looks like tracks in the snow at the top! Dammit!
I thought for sure that we were the first to go up there just because the route was so far off the beaten track, 2 valleys west of the Everest trail. Seeing tracks near the top of my climb just made me heart sink. To reassure myself that I am not a loser who only conceives of ideas after others have already pioneered them, I took a very careful look at the tracks and then began the (to me) well-known process of fictionalization. These aren’t human tracks! They are clearly the tracks of a sub human primate with huge feet—like the Yeti!
Messner and many others (when they were not hallucinating due to oxygen deprivation) photographed Yeti tracks like this when they were unhappy about the fact that they were not the first to be in a certain place. So now if you want to be the next human to ascend DEV-ICE and follow in the footsteps (pun intended) of the mythical Yeti, who apparently is a better ice climber than I am, all you have to do is fly to Kathmandu, fly to Lukla, walk 4 days to Thame in the dead of winter with all of your ice climbing gear, ascend a frozen and treacherous river valley, and then “enjoy”(insofar as this is possible) the miracles of water ice.
1 comment:
If I ever named a route, I'd name it "Ecstasy". First of all, because I'd imagine reaching the summit would make me ecstatic, as though on drugs. Secondly, I think it would sound funny to hear climbers asking each other if they've done ecstasy. Cheesy, childish humor, I know. But such is my juvenile personality. :P
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